What SEL Looks Like in Our Schools

Today, many of our schools utilize evidence-based programs that focus on teaching specific competencies. These programs, which are often integrated into morning meetings, counseling sessions, or even academic subjects, focus on five core areas. These are defined by the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL):

1. Self-Awareness: Identifying one’s own emotions, thoughts, and values.
2. Self-Management: Regulating one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations (e.g., managing stress, self-motivation).
3. Social Awareness: Taking the perspective of and empathizing with others.
4. Relationship Skills: Establishing and maintaining healthy and rewarding relationships (e.g., communicating clearly, resolving conflict).
5. Responsible Decision-Making: Making constructive choices about behavior and social interactions.

These structured programs are essential for teaching children the explicit skills they need to navigate school and peer relationships. They are designed to support all students and provide critical intervention for those who are struggling.

But here is the truth that often goes unsaid: This is often an intervention that starts years too late.

We need to stop asking schools to re-wire behavior that was already cemented in the foundational years. The most powerful SEL curriculum a child will ever receive isn’t in a classroom; it’s in the co-regulation of their home environment.

The Myth of Self-Soothing: Why Child Emotional Regulation Starts with the Parent 🧠

For decades, many parents were encouraged to “let babies self-soothe.” We now know this concept is a biological impossibility for a young child.

A baby’s pre-frontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for self-control and emotional management—is highly immature. They are born requiring an external regulator to help them manage stress. That external regulator is you.

This scientific concept is called co-regulation. When your child is distressed, they are sending out a nervous system alarm. If you respond from a place of calm, your regulated state literally helps sync their nervous system back to a quiet, safe baseline. You are teaching their brain, through repeated experience, how to calm down.

When we react to a child’s meltdown with our own uncontrolled frustration or anger (i.e., parental dysregulation), we are not teaching regulation. Instead, we are modeling and transmitting escalation. Research consistently links high parental stress and non-adaptive emotion regulation with higher rates of social, behavioral, and mental health issues in youth.

The Prenatal SEL Curriculum: It Starts with the Parent 🧘

If co-regulation is the lesson, then the prerequisite must be the parent’s own self-regulation for child SEL. This is why our focus needs to shift, starting before a child is even born:

💡 Parental Self-Awareness: Identifying the Real Emotion

Before we teach a child to recognize their “big feelings,” we need to teach parents to recognize theirs. This means identifying internal stress cues—the tight jaw, the hot chest, the impulse to yell—before they erupt into a reaction. Crucially, this training must help parents understand that anger is very often a symptom of suppressing another, more vulnerable emotion, such as fear, overwhelm, inadequacy, or grief. If a parent can recognize that their rising anger is actually a mask for deep anxiety about being a “good parent,” they can address the true need instead of reacting punitively.

🎯 The Circle of Control

Prenatal and early-parenting training needs to equip adults with strategies like understanding what they can and cannot control. You can control your response and your effort. However, you cannot control the duration of a tantrum or a baby’s need to cry. Reducing this anxiety is foundational self-care.

⚓ The Calming Anchor

Every parent needs a rapid, go-to self-regulation strategy, like Square Breathing or a quick grounding exercise. This allows a parent to down-regulate their own system in seconds. Thus, they can approach their child with calm instead of conflict.

🚶 When to Walk Away: The Ultimate Self-Regulation Skill

All of these skills culminate in the powerful knowledge of when walking away is the kindest, safest response. If you cannot find your calming anchor, the most responsible action is to temporarily exit the situation. This means placing your child in a safe space (like a crib or playpen) and giving yourself a few moments, or even a minute, to calm down completely—even mommies need time-outs!

Taking a break is firmly identified as responsible, proactive parenting—not neglect or “giving up.” Walking away when you are dysregulated prevents you from passing on that distress or reacting in a way you will regret. By doing this, you model the highest level of self-control for your child.

We must recognize that a parent who is emotionally supported and regulated is the most effective preventative measure against future maladaptive behavior. The early investment in parental self-regulation for child SEL is far more cost-effective than the long-term societal cost of special education, behavioral intervention, and juvenile justice.

📢 An Urgent Call to Action: Advocate for prenatal SEL

We are asking parents to teach a skill they were often never taught. This is not about blame; it is about providing the missing instruction manual. Parental self-regulation is the prerequisite for child SEL.

I am asking you, my fellow SLPs, educators, and concerned parents, to use your voice to advocate for this foundational shift.

The Ask: Contact your State Representatives and State Department of Health officials to urge them to mandate and fund the inclusion of an evidence-based Parental Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation Module as a standard component of all state-funded prenatal and early postnatal care programs.

We are not asking for a new program; we are asking for essential SEL skills to be taught at the right time, to the right person.

Here is a template email you can adapt and send to your elected officials today. Let’s make parental self-regulation a public health imperative.

Subject: Urgent: Fund Foundational Parental Self-Regulation Training for Child Health & Preventative Care

Dear [Representative/Senator/Official Name, or State Department of Health Leadership],

I am writing to you today as [Your Title/Profession: e.g., a School-Based Speech-Language Pathologist and concerned resident of District X]. My work with children in schools across [Your County/Region] consistently reveals that the most effective interventions for social, emotional, and behavioral challenges begin not in the classroom, but with the parent.

The Foundational Challenge: Current efforts in school-based Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) are essential but often start too late. The true foundation for a child’s ability to self-regulate is built through co-regulation—the consistent, calm response of a regulated adult. When parents lack the skills to manage their own stress and emotional triggers, they are inadvertently modeling and transmitting dysregulation to their children, leading to long-term issues.

The Preventative Solution: I urge you to mandate and fund the inclusion of an evidence-based Parental Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation Module as a standard, reimbursable component of all state-funded prenatal and early postnatal care programs.

This funding is not for generic parenting classes. It is an investment in specific, psychoeducational training that teaches parents:

1. Self-Awareness: How to recognize their own internal stress cues (e.g., anxiety, overwhelm) before they escalate into frustration or anger.
2. Calming Anchors: Rapid self-regulation techniques (like deep breathing or grounding) to stabilize their nervous system under pressure.
3. Proactive Parenting: The necessary skill of safely walking away to self-calm when feeling dysregulated, which models the highest level of emotional control for the child.

Cost-Effectiveness: Investing in parental self-regulation is the most powerful preventative measure available. Research consistently shows that early family interventions are dramatically more cost-effective than later remediation efforts (such as special education services, extensive behavioral interventions, or juvenile justice system involvement).

I ask that you prioritize this foundational SEL training. By supporting the mental and emotional health of parents, we are proactively building resilient children and stronger communities.

Thank you for your time and commitment to the health of our state’s families.

Sincerely,

[Your Name] [Your City/Town] [Your Contact Email or Phone Number]

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The post 🛑 The Foundation is Missing: Why Parental Self-Regulation for child SEL is the Most Crucial Skill appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.

As an SLP, parents and teachers are often concerned about middle school language development. They often ask me about a student who just doesn’t seem to “get it.” They’ll describe a child who takes everything literally, misses a joke, or seems to lack empathy. Since these kids are fluent speakers who sound like adults, it’s easy to assume these behaviors are a sign of a problem.

This is the middle school paradox. We assume that since their language sounds mature, their brains are fully equipped to handle complex social and communication skills. But what the lack or immaturity of these skills wasn’t a sign of a delay, but evidence of a developing brain? The truth is, while middle schoolers are great at sounding mature, their ability to handle the subtle, unspoken parts of communication is still a work in progress.

The Middle School Brain is Still Developing

It might seem they’ve suddenly grown up, but a middle schooler’s brain is still under construction. The prefrontal cortex, which handles complex thinking and self-control, won’t be fully developed until they are in their mid-twenties. This means many of the skills we adults take for granted are still being built. And honestly, don’t we all struggle with some of these things ourselves, no matter our age?

Understanding Abstract Language

Think about sarcasm, idioms, or metaphors. When a teacher says, “Oh, that’s just what I needed,” after a student drops papers everywhere, most adults get the joke. A middle schooler might not. Understanding this requires going beyond the literal words and reading the person’s tone and context.

This is also where inferencing comes in—it’s the ability to “read between the lines” and figure out what’s not explicitly stated. While a student might be able to define idioms on a school test, using and understanding them in a fast-paced, real-life conversation is much harder. Understanding colorful phrases is a still developing middle school language skill.

PSST: Read my last post Beyond “Spill the Beans”: Why Teaching Idioms Needs a Modern Glow-Up, for more information on this skill.

Navigating Social Cues

This is more than just empathy—it’s the ability to see things from another person’s point of view. Middle schoolers are so focused on figuring out their own identity that they can seem self-centered. It’s not a lack of caring; it’s a natural part of their social language development in middle school. A person has to understand their own self before they can truly understand others.

Part of this age’s awkwardness is that as they try to figure out their own identity, middle schoolers often “try on” different attitudes, styles, and interests. A student who is quiet one week might be outspoken the next. This isn’t being fake; it’s a natural form of social experimentation as they explore different versions of themselves.

Handling Big Emotions

Middle schoolers understand basic feelings like happy or sad, but they often struggle to name more complex emotions like frustration or anxiety. This can lead to them acting out because they lack the vocabulary to express what they’re truly feeling.

They might feel a physical response—a tight stomach, a pounding heart—without knowing what emotion is causing it. They’re also still developing the self-awareness and self-talk needed to pay attention to these body signals before they become too overwhelming.

For more information on social-emotional learning (SEL) and language, see this post: Beyond Happy or Sad: The Real Language of Emotions.

More Skills Developing in Middle School Brains

A few other language skills are still growing in middle schoolers, affecting their ability to learn and succeed.

Vocabulary and Word Knowledge

It’s not just about learning new words, but understanding all the different meanings and contexts for a single word. For example, a student might know that “trunk” refers to a suitcase, but they may not yet understand its use in phrases like “elephant trunk” or “tree trunk.”

Complex Language Comprehension

While they are using more sophisticated language, they can still struggle to fully understand long, grammatically intricate sentences in academic texts. The ability to break down and process this kind of intricate language is a skill that develops with exposure and explicit instruction.

Memory and Metacognitive Strategies

Middle schoolers are not only learning new things, but they are also beginning to learn how they learn. They’re developing metacognition—the ability to think about their own thinking. This includes learning and applying strategies for memory, such as using mnemonic devices or chunking information to make it easier to remember.

How You Can Help Middle School Language Development

Your support is the scaffolding they need to build these crucial skills. Here’s how you can help:

• Don’t Just Clarify, Explain. If you use sarcasm, follow up by saying, “I’m just being silly; I actually didn’t need that.” This helps them learn to spot a joke.
• Keep It Simple During High Emotion. When a middle schooler is upset, their thinking brain is offline. Use minimal words and direct instructions, like “Sit down. Breathe.”
• Talk It Through. Help them reflect on social situations. Ask, “Your friend looked sad. Why do you think that is?” This helps them practice perspective-taking and gives them the language to identify complex emotions.

Their challenging behaviors are often a sign of a developing brain, not a lack of effort or intelligence. By viewing them as a work in progress, we can provide the guidance they need to become capable and confident adults.

A Final Thought: The Power of Perspective

Middle school is a time of immense change, and much of the behavior that adults find confusing or frustrating is simply a reflection of a brain that is in an incredible, albeit awkward, state of growth. By reframing our perspective, we can stop seeing challenging behaviors as defiance. We can start viewing them, not only as naturally developing middle school language skills, but also as opportunities for teaching and connection.

As an SLP, I’ve seen firsthand that a little understanding and a lot of patience can make all the difference. Your support today is the scaffolding they need to build the crucial skills that will help them succeed as capable, compassionate, and confident adults.

For a more intensive way to pinpoint where a middle schooler needs support, consider my Middle School Contextual Language Screener/Profile. It uses an intentionally written fable as context to naturally pull out academic skills such as figurative language, multiple meanings, inferencing and problem solving.

You’ve learned about all the different areas where the middle school brain is still developing. But how do you keep track of it all? To make it easy, I’ve created a comprehensive, one-page chart that summarizes all these skills in a simple, visual format. It’s a great tool to keep handy for a quick reminder—you could even hang it in the teacher’s lounge!

Download your free infographic: “The Middle School Brain: Your Quick Guide to Developing Skills” by subscribing to my newsletter!

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The post Middle School Language Development: What They Don’t Know May Surprise you! appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.

Motivators

Just like our younger clients, older students love a good reward at the end of a challenging session. The beauty? They’re experts at navigating YouTube, so they can easily cue up their favorite vids. But wait, there’s more! I love introducing them to some lesser-known gems that pack a powerful punch:

Flexible thinking and how the mind learns new things:

Backwards bicycle: this was mind-blowing to watch!

How mistakes are okay and help you learn:

OK Go Rube Goldberg Machine (I talk about how you can see the evidence of how many previous tries – 85 to be exact – they had to get it right, but how awesome it was when they got it right.  BTW, the song itself has a great message of how bad things are only temporary.) It’s also useful to see the TEDTalk on how it was engineered. (Caution, the TEDTalk has one minor cuss word and the band is having a drink of champagne at the end.)  If you don’t know what a Rube Goldberg machine is, it is a YouTube rabbit hole.  I warned you.

The Power of a Stutter

A TedTalk on how accepting your insecurities and even embracing them allows us to become better communicators.  How it frees us from worrying about hiding them to think about how we can speak to and help others. (BTW, she has a very noticeable stutter so this is an excellent video for your fluency students.)

Teaching Support

How to make sounds

I’m probably not alone when I say that I turn to these when I have a kid I just can’t get to make the sound, especially now that I am wholly teletherapy.  My camera just isn’t as professional as what I can find on YouTube.  The two best sources for sound instruction I’ve found are Sharon Turner, who has a animated video model of the tongue inside the mouth for each sound, and Peachie Speechie, who has great teaching videos for each sound.  But there are many, many options to choose from.

Read-Alouds

I’m using short stories in most of my older groups.  When we first read a story, I want it to be a dramatic, cohesive reading, so I actually don’t want the students to read it.  I want them to listen and be drawn into the story.   But you know, a day of that and my voice gets tired.  Cue YouTube read-alouds!  You can find an audiobook of most popular short stories on YouTube pretty easily.  And bonus – most you can turn on Closed Captioning so students can read-along if you don’t have a text that matches well.  And the students actually love being read to.  If I have a student who needs to read for a goal, then I can stop and have them read a paragraph or so, then return to the read aloud. I have playlists of some of my favorites at http://www.youtube.com/@Mrs.Speech-wk4mr.

Background Knowledge

To go along with the read-alouds, a well-made video to give background knowledge is worth so much more than me droning on about what life in a lighthouse is like.  You know what they say, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”  Well, a video must be worth a million, right?!  And they are so much more willing to watch a video than listen to me (and let’s be honest, it gives my voice a break).

Movies

And if at all possible, I like to find at least a clip of a movie or animation to go with the story.  It provides so many opportunities for language-rich discussion, with opinions (Which did you like better, and why?) comparing and contrasting, and inferencing (Why do you think the director made this change?).

Social Skills

There are SOOOO many social skills videos out there.  Some of them are tailored toward our autistic population, some are more for introverted young adults, and some are for the ESL population.  Don’t just stick to the videos that tell how-to do something.  Sometimes the awkward videos offer great teaching moments too.  This one is one of my favorites.  While I do touch on what he does wrong, I mainly use it to talk about other people’s responses, and how they are generally kind about it and make an effort to not make him feel bad even though everyone feels awkward.  People are typically kind, so you might as well go out there and try.

Pro Tips 

Now, I mentioned in Read-Alouds to turn on the Closed Captioning if you don’t have a text that matches the reading.  It might be useful to do so with the other videos as well, to make the speech/text connection and fill in any missing gaps in the auditory information.  

I also suggest you turn the speed to 75%.  This is usually not noticeable to the kids, but it allows them more time to process what is being said so they get a better understanding of the information.  

I have more tips in my previous post: Unlocking Language Learning with YouTube: A Speech Therapist’s Guide.

Update 12/24

I recently found the free internet browser Brave and have been using it the past couple of weeks.  It was simple to move my Google bookmarks into Brave, and I am using it solely for use with the kids, so it streamlines my therapy sessions too.  I haven’t had a single youtube ad, and I haven’t noticed other ads popping up on websites.  I will say that, while it does block the ad on a website, there is often still the space where the ad would be.  Often, a reader extension like ReadBee will remove those spaces and focus on the text.

So, there you have it, folks! These are just a few ways to leverage the power of YouTube in therapy sessions with older students. But hey, the possibilities are endless! Got some killer ideas of your own? Drop ’em in the comments below!

Until next time, my e-speechies – keep on clickin’!

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The post YouTube in Therapy: Engaging Older Students with Smart Strategies appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “We’ve all used YouTube with kids before.” But bear with me, because there’s more to it than just plopping them in front of the screen while we sip our coffee (although, let’s be honest, sometimes that’s exactly what we need).

Here’s some of the things I’ve found out there in the big wide ‘Tube.

So…while nothing I share here is exactly news-breaking, I hope I have some ideas and links that give you a bit of a boost to your everyday!

Youtube for motivation

First off, there’s the motivator videos, the ones we can offer as rewards or to have kids request. We all know the kids love the great fun stuff out there, and it can be tricky finding what catches each kid’s attention – and it can change rapidly (because nothing is easy!). Depending on what each student likes or needs, it can range from the catchy, energetic songs…

…to repetitive, predictable, calming sensory videos (seriously, I sit back and watch these and am surprised when I look back at the clock at how much time has passed)…

YouTube for concept teaching

Then we have the fun concept teaching videos. These teach concepts in an enjoyable, engaging way that kids don’t realize they are learning. The repetition of each concept is what makes it beautiful, and more often than not, the children will be imitating by the end of the song.  We have core vocabulary songs…

More and All Done Sign Song

…body part songs…

FUN parts of your body song

…Farm animal songs…

Old MacDonald | Real Animals | Jack Hartmann (Love this one, because so many of our kids haven’t actually seen a real pig, let alone heard one)

…Action word songs…

If You’re Happy and You Know It

Story Videos

But what I like best are the story videos, that offer a treasure-trove of language-rich content.  Some of them are musical, like Pete the Cat and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom…

Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes

…And others are simply retold with animation. I love the learning English videos, like the ones from English SingSing…

The Three Little Pigs

I find that switching between all of these, and using a mix of planning and using my super SLP thinking skills (because we all know how these best laid plans often go, especially with kids involved), I can hit so many emerging language goals like attending, labelling, requesting and commenting. 

Pro tips for YouTube in therapy

Interactive Viewing

You can pause the video and talk about it, or wait for a request. Or you can watch the whole thing at one time, then use the precise seeking (or link at different times in the video) to go back to different moments to talk about.

Slow it down

Another great thing about many of the English learning videos is that they are told at a slightly slower rate of speech.  But if they aren’t, experiment with using the speed setting.  I find that going to 75% doesn’t usually affect the quality of the speech, but allows the listener more time to process. 

Split your screen 

Divide your screen into two, as to display two different videos side by side, as seen in the first screenshot at the top of this post. This gives. kids a visual choice so they can see what you are offering and point. You can find screen split options by hovering over the square next to the close window ‘x’, as seen in the partial screenshot to the side.  

Theatre Mode

And if you’re worried about distractions, try Theater Mode view to help keep things focused.  It presents the video screen the entire width of the window, so it squeezes out the ads on the side.  

So if I’m able to to have a few moments to reset things before a session, I have the screen split to show two videos side by side in Theater Mode so the child can make a choice.  

If you select full screen, it will fill the entire screen, regardless of whether it is split or not.  So I use that after the child has chosen.  Then I hit escape when we are ready for another choice, to return back to the split screen.

Reduce Inappropriate Ads

Create a separate “school” YouTube account to help reduce the number of inappropriate ads and video suggestions.  

Advertising Hacks

Now, there are some tricks for eliminating ads from YouTube videos, like adding a dash to the url or using a website or browser extension.  Unfortunately, I’ve found that they either don’t work with the Kids videos or they are so unwieldy to use with the short attention spans that it isn’t worth it.  Not to mention YouTube is actively working to block the adblockers.  But you can definitely try them if you’d like!

Update 12/24

I recently found the free internet browser Brave and have been using it the past couple of weeks. It was simple to move my Google bookmarks into Brave, and I am using it solely for use with the kids, so it streamlines my therapy sessions too. I haven’t had a single YouTube ad, and I haven’t noticed other ads popping up on websites.

I will say that, while it does block the ad on a website, there is often still the space where the ad would be. Often, a reader extension like ReadBee will remove those spaces and focus on the text.

Turn Autoplay Off

You don’t want your videos moving on without you.  Go to the settings icon to turn autoplay off.

Organization Tips for Therapy Videos

Now, I know what you’re thinking: how do I keep track of all these fantastic videos? 

Playlists

Yes, YouTube has playlists, and those are great, if you can use them.  Unfortunately, most of these videos are considered YouTube Kids videos, which means you can’t save them to a playlist.

Quick-Access Links – Essential Hack for YouTube in Therapy

Well, fear not! While you can’t save kid videos to your YouTube playlists, you can easily share them, copy the link, and paste it into a handy document for future reference. Don’t forget to set the start time for an even more streamlined list.

I have a document for my Emerging Language Classes that I keep on Outline Mode, and each of the above videos are under their own headings, so they are easy to find while I’m in a session.  It’s a simple trick that keeps everything organized and ready to roll whenever you need it.   

Want to see my list?  Subscribe below for my Early Learning Links and other exclusive freebies.  

Oh, and here’s a bonus hack: before you share and copy the link, set the video to start at exactly the right second to skip any unnecessary chatter at the beginning. Efficiency at its finest!

Want more Youtube resources for therapy?

Visit my Mrs. Speech Youtube Channel for playlists, or check out my next article: YouTube in Therapy for Older Students.

So, there you have it—YouTube isn’t just a time-sucking vortex; it’s a valuable tool for nurturing language development in our young ones. So go ahead, dive into the ‘Tube, and let the learning—and the fun—begin!

Until next time, my e-speechies,

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The post Unlocking Language Learning with YouTube: A Speech Therapist’s Guide appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.

Navigating the complexities of stuttering can bring confusion and anxiety for both children and their families. That’s why I wrote “It’s Just the Way I Talk: Facts About Stuttering for Ages 5-8.” It is a compassionate guide designed to transform uncertainty into understanding and empower young voices.

I’m incredibly proud to share that this book has not only become a steady seller, but it’s also reached #40 in Children’s Books on Physical Disabilities on Amazon. Furthermore, it has been read cover-to-cover numerous times on Kindle Unlimited! This continued success is a testament to the critical need it fills. It provides clear, accessible resources for young children who stutter.

From an SLP’s Heart: Why I Wrote “It’s Just the Way I Talk”

As a speech-language pathologist with over 24 years of experience, I’ve seen firsthand the profound impact stuttering can have on a child’s self-esteem. I vividly recall working with a young boy, Alex, who felt isolated and ashamed, his confidence faltering. During our sessions, a profound realization struck me: Alex, and indeed many other children who stutter, didn’t truly understand what stuttering was.

More importantly, they didn’t realize they weren’t alone in their experiences. This critical gap in understanding became the seed that blossomed into “It’s Just the Way I Talk.” My dream was to create a resource that not only provides factual clarity but also helps children realize they are not alone. Ultimately, the book aims to build their confidence to communicate freely.

Why “It’s Just the Way I Talk” Matters: More Than Just Facts

“It’s Just the Way I Talk” goes beyond simply explaining stuttering. It’s a heartfelt celebration of unique communication styles and a powerful tool for fostering confidence and acceptance. Geared toward early to mid-elementary ages, it’s also proven valuable for older children and adults seeking foundational knowledge.

Here’s what makes it an essential resource:

• Child-Friendly Truths: The book demystifies stuttering (also known as stammering). It provides clear, age-appropriate facts about what it is, why it happens, and why it’s a perfectly normal brain difference – not a fault.
• Fostering Acceptance & Confidence: It gently tackles common questions and anxieties. Children learn they are not alone and that stuttering doesn’t reflect intelligence or ability. This fosters self-acceptance and empowers young readers to embrace their voice.
• Beyond “Fixing”: Focusing on Strengths & Self-Advocacy: The book encourages children to identify their strengths rather than solely focusing on “curing” stuttering. It helps them develop self-advocacy skills and explore the stuttering community, promoting a positive self-image.

• Navigating Reactions from Others: The book offers practical guidance on understanding why others might react in certain ways. It empowers children to communicate their needs, highlighting that well-meaning suggestions like “slow down” or “just relax” might not always be helpful.
• Support for the Whole Family & Beyond: It provides updated information and valuable guidance for parents, teachers, and speech-language pathologists (SLPs). This fosters a supportive communication environment. Additionally, it helps cultivate empathy and inclusivity in non-stuttering children by promoting understanding of communication differences.

Aligning with Evidence-Based Practices

As a practicing SLP for many years, I’ve consistently observed the challenges faced by children who stutter and the need for resources that align with established evidence-based practices (EBPs). “It’s Just the Way I Talk” was carefully crafted to meet these standards. It is recommended by organizations like the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA) and the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders (NIDCD):

• Psychoeducation: The book empowers children with essential, factual information about stuttering, including its normalcy and lack of control. This directly aligns with EBP recommendations, which helps reduce anxiety in children who stutter. (Ref: National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders)
• Parent Training: By understanding stuttering and its causes through the book, parents can provide a more informed and supportive environment at home. This is a key aspect of successful stuttering therapy. (Ref: Journal of Fluency Disorders)
• Communication Strategies: The book indirectly introduces communication strategies by encouraging children to communicate what helps them stutter less. This aligns with EBPs that teach children self-advocacy skills and strategies for managing their communication. (Ref: Language, Speech, and Hearing Services in Schools)

“It’s Just the Way I Talk”: What Readers Are Saying

"This book is invaluable for parents, teachers, and therapists, as it promotes empathy and confidence in kids who stutter. It's a must-read that makes a significant difference in understanding and accepting speech differences. Highly recommend ?"

"This empowering book is a wonderful tool for young children navigating the challenges of stuttering. It presents important facts and strategies in a way that is both accessible and encouraging, helping kids feel more confident about their speech. The heartwarming narrative normalizes stuttering, fostering a sense of acceptance and support. Ideal for families and educators, this resource promotes empathy and understanding in a fun and relatable manner."

Integrating “It’s Just the Way I Talk” (For SLPs & Educators)

“It’s Just the Way I Talk” can be a valuable tool in various settings. Here are some ideas for how you can integrate it into therapy sessions, classrooms, or home environments:

• Read the book together: This can spark natural discussions about stuttering. It opens the door for children to share their experiences and feelings.
• Role-playing scenarios: Use the book’s content to role-play how children can respond to well-meaning but unhelpful comments from others. This builds their self-advocacy skills.
• Creative activities: Encourage children to create artwork, write stories, or engage in other creative activities inspired by the book’s themes of acceptance and unique communication.

I’d love to hear from fellow SLPs about how you’re using “It’s Just the Way I Talk” in your therapy sessions! Feel free to share your experiences and creative activities in the comments below.

Join the Movement: Get Your Copy & Spread the Word

Ready to empower a child’s voice and foster greater understanding of stuttering?

Get Your Copy Today!

I’ve priced “It’s Just the Way I Talk” just slightly above cost to ensure it’s accessible to as many families as possible. You can find it on Amazon, or get a 10% discount in my webstore (click here to see all available locations)! Consider purchasing and donating to your local school.

Spread the Awareness!

Every child deserves to feel confident about their voice. You can help us reach more families, educators, and therapists by sharing this post with your network. Please use the hashtag #ItsJustTheWayITalk when you share!

Boost Visibility!

Searching for “It’s Just the Way I Talk” on Amazon and search engines (by both title and relevant keywords like “children’s book stuttering,” “stuttering facts,” “speech therapy resources”) and clicking on it significantly helps. This action allows the platform to recommend it to others interested in communication differences. Your simple search makes a huge difference!

Request at Your Library

Consider requesting the book at your local public and school libraries, and favorite bookstores. Every new placement helps reach more children who need this message!

Your Voice Matters: Leave a Review!

Reviews are the heartbeat of a book’s success, especially for a mission-driven title like ‘It’s Just the Way I Talk.’ Each review, particularly those with comments, significantly boosts our visibility on platforms like Amazon and Goodreads. This helps us reach more children who need to feel confident about their voice. Whether you borrowed or bought a copy, please take a moment to share your thoughts on Amazon, Goodreads, or your library app. Your feedback truly helps us spread this vital message!

Want more empowering resources for stuttering? Check out Empowering Kids Who Stutter: Practical Tips & Resources.

Looking for additional resources to help children develop self-advocacy skills? I also recommend checking out my article Sail Away from “I Don’t Know”: A Treasure Map to Classroom Communication!

Looking Ahead

I’m passionate about continuing to bridge informational gaps. Looking ahead, I’m eager to create similar resources tailored for older children who stutter. These will address their evolving needs as they mature.

Together, let’s celebrate communication in all its forms!

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The post Lifting Up Young Voices: Why “It’s Just the Way I Talk” Continues to Be an Essential Resource for Children Who Stutter appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.

I’d love to hear from you: What kind of resources do you find would most benefit your students who stutter in developing a better understanding of their speech? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

The Missing Piece: Understanding their own stuttering

Think about it – we spend so much time, and rightfully so, teaching strategies to help ease those bumpy moments in their speech. But how often do we really dig into the “why” behind it all? While doing this, we focus on empowering kids by helping them understand their speech patterns.

I’ve seen so many amazing kids who’ve been in therapy since they were tiny, faithfully practicing their smooth speech techniques with each new SLP who comes along. And yet, when you talk to them, their big questions are often still: “How do I fix this?” and “When can I graduate from speech?” It’s almost like we’re giving them tools without a clear understanding of the landscape they’re navigating.

Beyond “Fixing” the Stutter

Imagine someone with essential tremors just trying to hold still, without knowing it’s a neurological thing. Or someone with nystagmus (involuntary, rhythmic eye movements), where the eyes move in ways they can’t control. It’s kind of the same with stuttering. Knowing this can enable children who stutter by giving them more awareness about their condition.

It’s also important to acknowledge that for young children, early intervention and the teaching of fluency strategies can indeed be highly effective in reducing or even eliminating stuttering. The earlier support is provided, the more neuroplasticity can be leveraged.

However, the longer stuttering persists, the more ingrained it can become, often making complete elimination less likely and the focus of therapy shifting towards management, acceptance, and effective communication. Empowerment lies in knowing how to manage one’s stutter, especially for persistent cases.

Furthermore, the longer a child stutters, the more likely they are to develop negative emotional responses to their disfluency, such as anxiety, frustration, avoidance behaviors, and even shame. These emotional layers can then further complicate their communication experiences, making empowerment a crucial step in therapy.

The Exhaustion of “Smooth Speech” Strategies

For those who haven’t experienced it, try this: for the next half hour, consciously try to use all the fluency strategies we often teach. Go incredibly slowly. Start every consonant with a super soft onset. Pay meticulous attention to every single time your speech isn’t perfectly smooth, every little stumble or word you don’t quite say “right.” Imagine how empowering it can be for kids who stutter to know they’re not alone in this struggle.

It’s exhausting, isn’t it? And for many of our older students who stutter, this isn’t a temporary exercise; it’s their daily reality when they try to mask their natural way of speaking. After years of practicing these strategies, the persistent question echoes: “Why am I still stuttering? Why hasn’t therapy ‘fixed’ it?” Empowering kids who stutter means helping them shift from just managing symptoms to embracing their unique voice.

Empowering Students Who Stutter

That’s why I’m so passionate about education. Kids deserve to know what affects their stuttering – is it stress? excitement? certain words? What’s the deal with incidence rates? (Spoiler alert: it’s more common than many think!). Giving them this knowledge empowers them. It shifts the focus from “fixing” something that isn’t “broken” to understanding and accepting a part of themselves.

This is a big part of why I created “It’s Just the Way I Talk: Facts About Stuttering for Ages 5-8” (reaching #40 in Children’s Books on Physical Disabilities on Amazon!). It’s a gentle way to introduce these concepts to younger kids, empowering them from a young age.

Practical Resources to Foster Self-Advocacy in Kids Who Stutter

And for my fellow educators and therapists working with older students, keep an eye out! I’m diving into the brain research behind stuttering in an upcoming book aimed at those mid to upper grades – because they deserve those deeper answers that empower their understanding of stuttering.

In the meantime, I’ve also put together a resource on Teachers Pay Teachers called “Affirming Stuttering Activities”. It’s packed with activities designed to help students who stutter explore and discuss their experiences, thoughts, and feelings related to their speech. It’s really great for giving voice to kids who stutter.

One tool I’ve found helpful in shifting this perspective is a simple “Speech Self-Rating Scale”. Instead of just focusing on how many stutters they had, students can rate their overall ease of speaking, the tension they felt, how effectively they communicated their message, and their satisfaction with the interaction. This helps them recognize that communication is about more than just fluency.

Subscribe for a FREE 10-question Daily Check-In Form!

Let’s move beyond just the “tricks” and empower our students with knowledge and self-acceptance. Because communication comes in all forms, and every voice deserves to be heard and valued, just the way it is. When we do this, we’re truly empowering kids who stutter to see their voice as valuable and unique.

What comes after the strategies? In my next post, I’ll be exploring the importance of stutter affirming, student-centered goals in stuttering therapy. Don’t miss it!

Talk soon,

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The post Empowering Kids Who Stutter: Practical Tips & Resources appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.

Ever wonder why we can teach a child “happy” and “sad,” yet they still struggle with deeper emotional understanding? It might seem simple at first; after all, they’re just feelings, right? But truly understanding and managing emotions involves learning the real language of emotions – a complex inner dialogue we must learn to speak fluently, both within ourselves and with others.

This “emotional language” goes far beyond simply recognizing happy, sad, and angry faces on a chart. It delves into the intricate world of our internal experiences, the thoughts that fuel our feelings, and how we communicate those feelings through more than just our expressions. 

At its core, Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) encompasses skills like understanding our own emotions (self-awareness), managing those emotions effectively (self-management), recognizing the emotions of others (social awareness), building positive relationships, and making responsible decisions. It’s about understanding the subtle cues of body language and tone of voice, and ultimately, about developing a rich vocabulary to navigate our emotional landscape.

So, how do we help children learn this vital language of emotions? It starts by looking beyond the surface and exploring the deeper layers of what it truly means to feel these emotions.

The Internal Landscape: More Than Just a Feeling Word

Think about the last time you felt truly nervous. Did you have to stop and think, “I am nervous”? Probably not. You might have felt butterflies in your stomach, sweaty palms, or a racing heart, and you had already learned the somatic expression (bodily sensations) of the emotion of nervousness. For children to truly grasp their emotions, they need to connect these somatic experiences with the feeling words.

Try this: When your child says they feel [emotion], gently ask, “Where do you feel that in your body?” or “What does that feel like inside?” Encourage them to describe the physical sensations.

The Thought Detective: Uncovering the “Why”

Often, the surface-level situation isn’t the real trigger for an emotion. As we discussed, a child angry about not being invited to play might actually be feeling rejected, fueled by the thought, “They don’t like me.” Helping children become “thought detectives” and develop the language to uncover true feelings is crucial.

• Ask: “What were you thinking when that happened?” or “What story are you telling yourself about why that happened?”
• Challenge unhelpful thoughts: Help them explore if those thoughts are entirely true. Could there be other explanations? (“Maybe they’re playing a game with a limited number of players right now.”)
• Practice reframing: Guide them to replace negative thoughts with more balanced ones. (“I can ask if I can join next time.”)

The Power of Self-Talk: Where Emotional Language Gets Real

Once children can identify their feelings and the thoughts behind them, we can introduce the powerful tool of self-talk. This is the internal dialogue we have with ourselves that can either escalate or soothe our emotions.

• Model positive self-talk: Let your child hear you talking to yourself calmly through a frustrating situation (“This is tricky, but I can take it one step at a time”).
• Brainstorm helpful phrases together: For feeling frustrated: “It’s okay to feel stuck. I can try a different way.” For feeling nervous: “I feel a little worried, but I’ve practiced, and I’ll do my best.”
• Practice using self-talk in low-stakes situations: This helps them build the habit for when big emotions hit.

Beyond the Face: Tuning into the Whole Message

Emotions aren’t just expressed through the face.  Other powerful communicators of feeling include body language (slumped shoulders, crossed arms, open posture) and tone of voice (soft, sharp, shaky).

• Observe and discuss: “I noticed your voice sounded a little sad and your mouth was turned down when you said that. Are you feeling okay?” or “Look at how their body is all hunched over and they aren’t playing. I wonder if they might be feeling lonely.”
• Consider context: Emphasize that the same body language or tone can mean different things in different situations.

Learning Emotional Language in Real Life: The Power of “In-the-Moment” Coaching

Abstract scenarios in workbooks have their place, but the most impactful learning happens within the context of a child’s own life. Trusted adults can act as emotional guides, narrating feelings and thoughts as they occur.

• Make it personal: “I saw your face get red and your body got tight when your friend took your toy. It looked like you were feeling angry.”
• Model your own emotions healthily: Instead of “Be quiet so I can talk,” try, “I need you to be quiet so others can hear. Thanks for understanding.” Instead of “I’m angry you broke the rules,” try, “I’m feeling upset because I’m worried about your safety when the rules aren’t followed.”

It Starts With Us: The Adult’s Role in Emotional Learning

Here’s a crucial truth: effectively teaching SEL to children begins with our own emotional awareness and regulation. We might even need to re-learn some of our own ingrained beliefs about emotions. Were we taught to suppress certain feelings? Did we receive messages that some emotions are “bad”?

Drawing inspiration from frameworks like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can be incredibly helpful. DBT emphasizes understanding the somatic experience, expression, body language, and thoughts associated with emotions, as well as offering practical strategies for managing intense feelings and reframing negative thought patterns.

Adults who haven’t explored their own emotional landscape may find it challenging to guide children effectively. It requires us to open our own hearts and heads and be vulnerable with children, creating a safe space for them to explore their feelings without judgment, as well as modeling those things we are trying to teach them

Moving Forward in Teaching the Real Language of Emotions:

Teaching emotional literacy is a journey, not a destination, and this journey of emotional learning for our children is deeply intertwined with our own emotional landscape. By moving beyond simple facial recognition and focusing on the internal experience, thoughts, communication, and the power of our own modeling, we can equip children with the skills they need to navigate their emotional world with confidence and resilience.

This is just the beginning of exploring the fascinating true language of feelings. What other aspects of SEL would you like us to delve into in future posts? Let me know your thoughts!

Want more SEL content? Try these articles!

• Tips for Parents: Fostering Language Development in Preschoolers
• Empowering Kids Who Stutter: Practical Tips & Resources
• Speech Therapy Wins! Building Progress Power in Kids

Here’s to a more emotionally connected world!

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The post Beyond Happy and Sad: The Real Language of Emotions appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.

As a Speech Language Pathologist, I’m used to being on the clinician side of the table, helping others with communication and cognition.  I’m the one with the answers, right?  But when I found myself trying to cope with the symptoms of a concussion that had lasted months past the expected recovery time, my perspective flipped.

What is Post-Concussive Disorder?

Post-Concussive Disorder (PCD) is the catch-all for these lingering symptoms. Symptoms can include headaches, nausea, mental fog, dizziness, difficulty concentrating, poor memory, noise and/or light sensitivity, vision disturbances, anxiety, depression… all symptoms associated with a concussion and then some. It’s not understood what causes it, how to treat it, or even how much of the population experiences it.  Numbers range from 11% to 82% of mild traumatic brain injury (mTBI) cases.  I know, helpful, right?!

So let me back up a little.  It was the early summer of 2022, and we had emptied our pool to do repairs and clean, and I, being the wonderful wife and mother that I am, got up early to get a jump on the heat.  Little did I realize that the dew was heavy enough to turn our vinyl liner into a slip-n-slide, and no sooner had I stepped off the fiberglass steps than I found myself on my back, the occipital portion, where my skull rounds to connect to my spinal column, on the edge of the fiberglass step.

I don’t think I lost consciousness, but we went in that day, and had a scan that showed that there was no apparent bruising on my brain.  I had mild to moderate typical concussion symptoms, but my neck pain never went away.  So then I went to physical therapy, Round 1, which alleviated the neck pain to a tolerable level.

Well, now the school year was starting.  I was still feeling lightheaded and dizzy if I turned too fast, still had some neck pain, had a persistent headache.  I felt like my mind was moving through sludge.  Getting through groups of elementary kids was…difficult.  And the problem was, it continued to worsen, to the point where I was having daily migraines and took medical leave that October.

After that, I had the school district breathing down my neck to get back to work.  We were struggling to find a solution.  I couldn’t think clearly most of the time, even having word recall issues.  I struggled even knowing what it was that was wrong with me, just that I wasn’t right.  My general practitioner isn’t much help, but we do find a “concussion doctor” who, of course, is an hour away and doesn’t take our insurance.  

After a couple of months of testing, I find that I now have eyes that focus in slightly different directions.  I go to physical therapy (Round 2) to work on visual integration, I go to speech therapy to work on the mental fog and memory.  I am hiding in my room in the dark with one lamp, and telling my family to keep quiet.  Thank goodness my kids are teens.

It comes to the point I have to resign from my job in May 2023.  At that point, even with nearly six months of treatment orchestrated by the concussion expert, I’m still having daily migraines.  My speech therapist was wonderful, and had me walking the track around the rehab center’s gym while I performed memory and cognition tasks to aid in desensitization to light and noise.

Now, nearly two years after, I have headaches almost daily, but they are headaches, not migraines.  I’ve had two sets of lenses because my eye focus has changed.  But the mental fog has dissipated, and I feel like myself again for the most part.  I seem to misspell words more now, and memory is still an issue compared to pre-concussion.  And I’ve picked up a slight stutter that comes out when my brain is overdoing it.

Now, why do I tell you all this?  As speech-language pathologists, we often are treating individuals who have experienced a concussion, and we may not even realize it.  Because no one tells the speech teacher in the corner closet, right?  And we should be aware that these symptoms can persist weeks, months, even years after the typical recovery period.

 We need to be prepared to go to bat for our students who might need extra help with coping strategies in the aftermath of a concussion.  They may not be able to describe what’s wrong.  These challenges are invisible, and in many ways, unmeasurable, and can add up to creating emotional issues as well.  Students who have experienced a concussion may need accommodations that are not “listed” in our handy IEP software.  They may need cognitive therapy to address attention, memory or problem-solving issues.  Counseling may even be necessary.

As speech-language professionals, we need to raise awareness and understanding both of concussions and post-concussive disorder.  We need to help families navigate the symptoms, and educate teachers watch for the signs in their students.

Together, we can help them on the road to recovery, one step at a time.

Wishing the best to my powerful speechies,

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The post The Long Road: My Journey with Post-Concussive Disorder appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.