What SEL Looks Like in Our Schools

Today, many of our schools utilize evidence-based programs that focus on teaching specific competencies. These programs, which are often integrated into morning meetings, counseling sessions, or even academic subjects, focus on five core areas. These are defined by the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL):

1. Self-Awareness: Identifying one’s own emotions, thoughts, and values.
2. Self-Management: Regulating one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations (e.g., managing stress, self-motivation).
3. Social Awareness: Taking the perspective of and empathizing with others.
4. Relationship Skills: Establishing and maintaining healthy and rewarding relationships (e.g., communicating clearly, resolving conflict).
5. Responsible Decision-Making: Making constructive choices about behavior and social interactions.

These structured programs are essential for teaching children the explicit skills they need to navigate school and peer relationships. They are designed to support all students and provide critical intervention for those who are struggling.

But here is the truth that often goes unsaid: This is often an intervention that starts years too late.

We need to stop asking schools to re-wire behavior that was already cemented in the foundational years. The most powerful SEL curriculum a child will ever receive isn’t in a classroom; it’s in the co-regulation of their home environment.

The Myth of Self-Soothing: Why Child Emotional Regulation Starts with the Parent 🧠

For decades, many parents were encouraged to “let babies self-soothe.” We now know this concept is a biological impossibility for a young child.

A baby’s pre-frontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for self-control and emotional management—is highly immature. They are born requiring an external regulator to help them manage stress. That external regulator is you.

This scientific concept is called co-regulation. When your child is distressed, they are sending out a nervous system alarm. If you respond from a place of calm, your regulated state literally helps sync their nervous system back to a quiet, safe baseline. You are teaching their brain, through repeated experience, how to calm down.

When we react to a child’s meltdown with our own uncontrolled frustration or anger (i.e., parental dysregulation), we are not teaching regulation. Instead, we are modeling and transmitting escalation. Research consistently links high parental stress and non-adaptive emotion regulation with higher rates of social, behavioral, and mental health issues in youth.

The Prenatal SEL Curriculum: It Starts with the Parent 🧘

If co-regulation is the lesson, then the prerequisite must be the parent’s own self-regulation for child SEL. This is why our focus needs to shift, starting before a child is even born:

💡 Parental Self-Awareness: Identifying the Real Emotion

Before we teach a child to recognize their “big feelings,” we need to teach parents to recognize theirs. This means identifying internal stress cues—the tight jaw, the hot chest, the impulse to yell—before they erupt into a reaction. Crucially, this training must help parents understand that anger is very often a symptom of suppressing another, more vulnerable emotion, such as fear, overwhelm, inadequacy, or grief. If a parent can recognize that their rising anger is actually a mask for deep anxiety about being a “good parent,” they can address the true need instead of reacting punitively.

🎯 The Circle of Control

Prenatal and early-parenting training needs to equip adults with strategies like understanding what they can and cannot control. You can control your response and your effort. However, you cannot control the duration of a tantrum or a baby’s need to cry. Reducing this anxiety is foundational self-care.

⚓ The Calming Anchor

Every parent needs a rapid, go-to self-regulation strategy, like Square Breathing or a quick grounding exercise. This allows a parent to down-regulate their own system in seconds. Thus, they can approach their child with calm instead of conflict.

🚶 When to Walk Away: The Ultimate Self-Regulation Skill

All of these skills culminate in the powerful knowledge of when walking away is the kindest, safest response. If you cannot find your calming anchor, the most responsible action is to temporarily exit the situation. This means placing your child in a safe space (like a crib or playpen) and giving yourself a few moments, or even a minute, to calm down completely—even mommies need time-outs!

Taking a break is firmly identified as responsible, proactive parenting—not neglect or “giving up.” Walking away when you are dysregulated prevents you from passing on that distress or reacting in a way you will regret. By doing this, you model the highest level of self-control for your child.

We must recognize that a parent who is emotionally supported and regulated is the most effective preventative measure against future maladaptive behavior. The early investment in parental self-regulation for child SEL is far more cost-effective than the long-term societal cost of special education, behavioral intervention, and juvenile justice.

📢 An Urgent Call to Action: Advocate for prenatal SEL

We are asking parents to teach a skill they were often never taught. This is not about blame; it is about providing the missing instruction manual. Parental self-regulation is the prerequisite for child SEL.

I am asking you, my fellow SLPs, educators, and concerned parents, to use your voice to advocate for this foundational shift.

The Ask: Contact your State Representatives and State Department of Health officials to urge them to mandate and fund the inclusion of an evidence-based Parental Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation Module as a standard component of all state-funded prenatal and early postnatal care programs.

We are not asking for a new program; we are asking for essential SEL skills to be taught at the right time, to the right person.

Here is a template email you can adapt and send to your elected officials today. Let’s make parental self-regulation a public health imperative.

Subject: Urgent: Fund Foundational Parental Self-Regulation Training for Child Health & Preventative Care

Dear [Representative/Senator/Official Name, or State Department of Health Leadership],

I am writing to you today as [Your Title/Profession: e.g., a School-Based Speech-Language Pathologist and concerned resident of District X]. My work with children in schools across [Your County/Region] consistently reveals that the most effective interventions for social, emotional, and behavioral challenges begin not in the classroom, but with the parent.

The Foundational Challenge: Current efforts in school-based Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) are essential but often start too late. The true foundation for a child’s ability to self-regulate is built through co-regulation—the consistent, calm response of a regulated adult. When parents lack the skills to manage their own stress and emotional triggers, they are inadvertently modeling and transmitting dysregulation to their children, leading to long-term issues.

The Preventative Solution: I urge you to mandate and fund the inclusion of an evidence-based Parental Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation Module as a standard, reimbursable component of all state-funded prenatal and early postnatal care programs.

This funding is not for generic parenting classes. It is an investment in specific, psychoeducational training that teaches parents:

1. Self-Awareness: How to recognize their own internal stress cues (e.g., anxiety, overwhelm) before they escalate into frustration or anger.
2. Calming Anchors: Rapid self-regulation techniques (like deep breathing or grounding) to stabilize their nervous system under pressure.
3. Proactive Parenting: The necessary skill of safely walking away to self-calm when feeling dysregulated, which models the highest level of emotional control for the child.

Cost-Effectiveness: Investing in parental self-regulation is the most powerful preventative measure available. Research consistently shows that early family interventions are dramatically more cost-effective than later remediation efforts (such as special education services, extensive behavioral interventions, or juvenile justice system involvement).

I ask that you prioritize this foundational SEL training. By supporting the mental and emotional health of parents, we are proactively building resilient children and stronger communities.

Thank you for your time and commitment to the health of our state’s families.

Sincerely,

[Your Name] [Your City/Town] [Your Contact Email or Phone Number]

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The post 🛑 The Foundation is Missing: Why Parental Self-Regulation for child SEL is the Most Crucial Skill appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.

As an SLP, I see these struggles firsthand. It’s easy to feel like we’re fighting a losing battle against screens, instant gratification, and a perceived societal slide. But what if these feelings, while valid, aren’t actually new? What if the “kids these days” lament is as old as the institution of schooling itself?

This question sent me down a fascinating rabbit hole into the history of education, specifically the turn of the 20th century (roughly 1890-1920). It was an era of immense change: industrialization, urbanization, mass immigration, and the rapid expansion of public schooling. And guess what? Teachers then were airing strikingly similar grievances.

Far from a silent golden age of respectful, diligent students, historical records reveal a different picture. Teachers, often young women, were facing packed classrooms of diverse learners. They battled daily with issues that sound eerily familiar. Our panic about generational language issues is definitely not new.

Generational Decline Then vs. Now: Specific Examples:

Let’s break down some of those “turn of the century” complaints and see how they mirror our present-day struggles. You might be surprised by how little the core issues have changed, proving that today’s “brain rot” in youth is not new:

The Loss of Conversation: From “Cheap Novels” to Cellphones

• Then (c. 1900): Teachers and parents feared students were wasting their minds on the era’s new, pervasive, and easily accessible media: cheap fiction novels and sensational newspapers. They worried these “over-stimulating” print materials were corrupting the youth, pulling their focus from family interaction, academic study, and proper social conversation. The concern was that constant private reading would lead to social isolation.
• Now (c. 2020): We lament that cellphones, social media, and gaming have captured student attention, leading to a decline in face-to-face social skills, difficulty maintaining eye contact, and a loss of focused conversation. The fear is that the screen is isolating students and killing their ability to communicate in depth.
• The Constant: The Loss of the Shared Social Space. Adults worry when youth attention is captured by a new, easily accessible, and unsupervised medium that pulls them away from traditional, adult-sanctioned interaction. The anxiety is identical: a new technology is diverting youth attention and killing conversation and focused thought.

The Scourge of Slang: Language Decay Myth

• Then (c. 1900): Educators constantly fought against the “corruption” of the English language through slang and regional vernacular. This informal street language and emerging youth culture were viewed as a sign of poor intellectual discipline, illiteracy, and a direct threat to proper grammar and vocabulary in the classroom.
• Now (c. 2020): We worry about “brain rot” manifested as students using acronyms, “text-speak,” and minimalist language. We view the over-reliance on AI for writing and shorthand communication as proof of intellectual laziness and a devastating decline in the ability to construct a coherent, sophisticated sentence.
• The Constant: The Linguistic Turf War. The older generation, which defines the “rules” of language, feels threatened by the rapid, creative, and efficient linguistic innovations of the youth. What one generation views as degradation, the younger often sees as efficiency, social belonging, and evolution. The adult disapproval of the change is a constant fixture of the generational divide.

The Battle for Attention: “Unruly” vs. “Distracted”

• Then (c. 1900): Teachers complained vociferously about “unruly” and defiant older boys, especially in mixed-grade rural schools, who would openly challenge authority, flirt, or cause general disruption. Maintaining order often required corporal punishment. Students struggled with the monotonous rote memorization that defined much of the curriculum.
• Now (c. 2020): We lament short attention spans, the constant pull of phones, and students who seem unable to focus on a single task for more than a few minutes. Teachers battle apathy and a perceived lack of respect.
• The Constant: The younger generation naturally resists methods and structures they find unengaging or authoritarian. Their attention is drawn to dynamic, personally relevant stimuli – whether that was pushing boundaries with a teacher or scrolling through TikTok. The expression of disengagement changes, but the root of it often remains the same: a mismatch between intrinsic motivation and imposed task. Analyzing the history of social change shows the fundamental challenge remains the same: engaging the student.

Competing Demands: “Farm Work” vs. “Side Hustles”

• Then (c. 1900): A major headache for teachers was chronic absenteeism due to child labor. Kids were pulled from school for weeks at a time to work on farms during planting/harvesting seasons or to contribute to family income in factories. Their primary focus was often outside the classroom.
• Now (c. 2020): While child labor is (thankfully) not the same issue, teachers still face students who prioritize outside commitments – part-time jobs, demanding sports schedules, extensive extracurriculars, or even gaming – over schoolwork. Their energy and focus are split.
• The Constant: Life outside school has always competed fiercely for students’ time and mental energy. The “teacher’s priority” is often just one of many, and not always the dominant one, in a young person’s life.

The “Degradation” of Language & Skills: From “Rote” to “Rot”

• Then (c. 1900): Progressive educators and frustrated teachers argued vehemently against the prevailing rote memorization model, believing it failed to teach students practical skills, critical thinking, or genuine understanding. They believed students weren’t truly learning what they needed for the modern world.
• Now (c. 2020): This is where the “brain rot” and language degradation arguments truly hit home. We worry about students’ inability to write coherently, their reliance on text-speak, AI for essays, or their struggles with complex reasoning. We hear, “They just can’t think anymore!”
• The Constant: Every generation defines “essential skills” and “proper language” by its own standards. What one era sees as practical, another sees as outdated. What one generation considers a conversational shortcut (e.g., shorthand in the early 1900s, texting abbreviations today), another deems a symptom of intellectual decay. The anxiety around changing communication styles and perceived declining rigor is a generational echo.

The Original Brain Rot: Luxury and Contempt for Authority

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

• Then (c. 4th Century BC): The greatest thinkers of Ancient Greece—Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle—complained extensively about the youth. While this famous viral quote is often misattributed (it was actually penned in 1907), the sentiment of generational language panic is real. Scholars even then complained about the decay of the youth. Critically, Socrates was famously executed, in part, for the crime of “corrupting the youth” by teaching them to question their elders and the established order.
• Now (c. 2020): These are nearly verbatim the complaints you hear today. Students are seen as entitled, unwilling to follow rules, glued to their phones (chatter), and disrespecting traditional structures. The modern equivalent of “corrupting the youth” is the anxiety over teaching critical race theory or complex social justice issues—anything that encourages students to question and critique the beliefs of the previous generation.
• The Constant: The Fear of the Successor. The oldest generation’s deepest fear is that the rising generation will reject the hard-won values, discipline, and institutions they built. In every era, teaching youth to think differently than the previous generation is perceived by some established adults as the ultimate act of “corruption.”

The Underlying Force behind “Brain Rot” Myth: Generational Tension

What these historical parallels underscore is not a continuous, linear decline in human intellect or student quality. Instead, they point to a fundamental, ever-present phenomenon: generational tension.

This tension isn’t about one generation being inherently “better” or “worse” than another. It’s about:

• Different Lived Experiences: Each generation grows up in a unique technological, social, and economic landscape, shaping their worldviews, priorities, and learning styles.
• Mismatched Expectations: Educators, as members of an older generation, naturally teach and assess based on the norms, skills, and values they were taught. Students, operating within their own contemporary reality, respond differently.
• The Nature of Youth: Youth, by its very nature, involves questioning, exploring, and pushing boundaries. This manifests as “unruly” behavior or “distracted” minds, depending on the era’s context.

Adapt instead of panic: Generational Language

So, the next time you feel that pang of despair about supposed “brain rot” or the state of modern education, take a deep breath. Acknowledge the very real challenges we face today – screens are powerful distractors, and mental health is a major concern. But also, take solace in knowing that you’re part of a long, distinguished lineage of educators who have felt similar frustrations.

Our job isn’t to bemoan the “decline,” but to understand the nature of this perennial generational tension. By doing so, we can shift our focus from complaining about what students aren’t to creatively finding ways to meet them where they are. We should adapt our strategies, and leverage their unique generational strengths to foster true learning.

For us as SLPs and educators, this historical context shifts our job description. Instead of fighting text-speak, we can view it as a linguistic window. We can use our expertise to bridge the gap between efficient social language and sophisticated academic language. Our goal remains the same: fostering effective communication across all contexts.

The kids aren’t “brain rotted”; they’re just kids, living in their time, and challenging us to evolve, just as kids have always done.

Want to learn more? See these posts:

• Middle School Language Development: What They Don’t Know May Surprise you!
• Beyond “Spill the Beans”: Why Teaching Idioms Needs a Modern Glow-Up

Leave your thoughts!

What historical or modern “kid complaints” resonate most with you? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Further Reading:

• https://www.pbs.org/onlyateacher/timeline.html
• https://www.encyclopedia.com/social-sciences/culture-magazines/1910s-education-topics-news
• https://nces.ed.gov/pubs93/93442.pdf
• https://www.rd.com/list/what-school-was-like-100-years-ago/
• https://historyhustle.com/2500-years-of-people-complaining-about-the-younger-generation/
• https://slate.com/technology/2017/08/the-19th-century-moral-panic-over-paper-technology.html

The post The Generational Language Panic: Why ‘Brain Rot’ is as Old as Education appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.

As an SLP, parents and teachers are often concerned about middle school language development. They often ask me about a student who just doesn’t seem to “get it.” They’ll describe a child who takes everything literally, misses a joke, or seems to lack empathy. Since these kids are fluent speakers who sound like adults, it’s easy to assume these behaviors are a sign of a problem.

This is the middle school paradox. We assume that since their language sounds mature, their brains are fully equipped to handle complex social and communication skills. But what the lack or immaturity of these skills wasn’t a sign of a delay, but evidence of a developing brain? The truth is, while middle schoolers are great at sounding mature, their ability to handle the subtle, unspoken parts of communication is still a work in progress.

The Middle School Brain is Still Developing

It might seem they’ve suddenly grown up, but a middle schooler’s brain is still under construction. The prefrontal cortex, which handles complex thinking and self-control, won’t be fully developed until they are in their mid-twenties. This means many of the skills we adults take for granted are still being built. And honestly, don’t we all struggle with some of these things ourselves, no matter our age?

Understanding Abstract Language

Think about sarcasm, idioms, or metaphors. When a teacher says, “Oh, that’s just what I needed,” after a student drops papers everywhere, most adults get the joke. A middle schooler might not. Understanding this requires going beyond the literal words and reading the person’s tone and context.

This is also where inferencing comes in—it’s the ability to “read between the lines” and figure out what’s not explicitly stated. While a student might be able to define idioms on a school test, using and understanding them in a fast-paced, real-life conversation is much harder. Understanding colorful phrases is a still developing middle school language skill.

PSST: Read my last post Beyond “Spill the Beans”: Why Teaching Idioms Needs a Modern Glow-Up, for more information on this skill.

Navigating Social Cues

This is more than just empathy—it’s the ability to see things from another person’s point of view. Middle schoolers are so focused on figuring out their own identity that they can seem self-centered. It’s not a lack of caring; it’s a natural part of their social language development in middle school. A person has to understand their own self before they can truly understand others.

Part of this age’s awkwardness is that as they try to figure out their own identity, middle schoolers often “try on” different attitudes, styles, and interests. A student who is quiet one week might be outspoken the next. This isn’t being fake; it’s a natural form of social experimentation as they explore different versions of themselves.

Handling Big Emotions

Middle schoolers understand basic feelings like happy or sad, but they often struggle to name more complex emotions like frustration or anxiety. This can lead to them acting out because they lack the vocabulary to express what they’re truly feeling.

They might feel a physical response—a tight stomach, a pounding heart—without knowing what emotion is causing it. They’re also still developing the self-awareness and self-talk needed to pay attention to these body signals before they become too overwhelming.

For more information on social-emotional learning (SEL) and language, see this post: Beyond Happy or Sad: The Real Language of Emotions.

More Skills Developing in Middle School Brains

A few other language skills are still growing in middle schoolers, affecting their ability to learn and succeed.

Vocabulary and Word Knowledge

It’s not just about learning new words, but understanding all the different meanings and contexts for a single word. For example, a student might know that “trunk” refers to a suitcase, but they may not yet understand its use in phrases like “elephant trunk” or “tree trunk.”

Complex Language Comprehension

While they are using more sophisticated language, they can still struggle to fully understand long, grammatically intricate sentences in academic texts. The ability to break down and process this kind of intricate language is a skill that develops with exposure and explicit instruction.

Memory and Metacognitive Strategies

Middle schoolers are not only learning new things, but they are also beginning to learn how they learn. They’re developing metacognition—the ability to think about their own thinking. This includes learning and applying strategies for memory, such as using mnemonic devices or chunking information to make it easier to remember.

How You Can Help Middle School Language Development

Your support is the scaffolding they need to build these crucial skills. Here’s how you can help:

• Don’t Just Clarify, Explain. If you use sarcasm, follow up by saying, “I’m just being silly; I actually didn’t need that.” This helps them learn to spot a joke.
• Keep It Simple During High Emotion. When a middle schooler is upset, their thinking brain is offline. Use minimal words and direct instructions, like “Sit down. Breathe.”
• Talk It Through. Help them reflect on social situations. Ask, “Your friend looked sad. Why do you think that is?” This helps them practice perspective-taking and gives them the language to identify complex emotions.

Their challenging behaviors are often a sign of a developing brain, not a lack of effort or intelligence. By viewing them as a work in progress, we can provide the guidance they need to become capable and confident adults.

A Final Thought: The Power of Perspective

Middle school is a time of immense change, and much of the behavior that adults find confusing or frustrating is simply a reflection of a brain that is in an incredible, albeit awkward, state of growth. By reframing our perspective, we can stop seeing challenging behaviors as defiance. We can start viewing them, not only as naturally developing middle school language skills, but also as opportunities for teaching and connection.

As an SLP, I’ve seen firsthand that a little understanding and a lot of patience can make all the difference. Your support today is the scaffolding they need to build the crucial skills that will help them succeed as capable, compassionate, and confident adults.

For a more intensive way to pinpoint where a middle schooler needs support, consider my Middle School Contextual Language Screener/Profile. It uses an intentionally written fable as context to naturally pull out academic skills such as figurative language, multiple meanings, inferencing and problem solving.

You’ve learned about all the different areas where the middle school brain is still developing. But how do you keep track of it all? To make it easy, I’ve created a comprehensive, one-page chart that summarizes all these skills in a simple, visual format. It’s a great tool to keep handy for a quick reminder—you could even hang it in the teacher’s lounge!

Download your free infographic: “The Middle School Brain: Your Quick Guide to Developing Skills” by subscribing to my newsletter!

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Picture this: You’ve been teaching idioms non-stop, patting yourself on the back because your students just learned ‘Spill the beans.’ Moments later, they’re on TikTok asking ‘It’s giving what?’ or saying ‘No cap.’ Are we truly equipping them for the language they live in?

While I love the idioms from yesteryear, such as all the lovely sayings from Aesop’s fables, you don’t hear them much in everyday life. The majority of students haven’t even been exposed to Aesop’s fables beyond a story or two.

Try listening in at a restaurant some time, especially to a group of younger people, or reading song lyrics from a popular new song. I imagine the older you are, the less you’ll recognize their figurative language. If they don’t hear it in their lives, why are we pushing it? Have you ever asked them “Have you heard this before?” I have, and I usually get a baffled shake of the head.

Language is a living, breathing thing. It’s constantly evolving, shedding old phrases and creating new ones. We sometimes have to let go of the old and accept the new. That means it’s time to ask a crucial question: Why are we even bothering with teaching idioms in the first place?

The True “Why”: Understanding Non-Literal Language, Not Memorizing a Secret Code

When we teach idioms to students, our primary goal shouldn’t be to have them memorize a fixed list of phrases as if they were secret codes for an exclusive club. (Honestly, whose club would they be codes to? Grandma’s bridge club?) If our aim is simply rote memorization, we’re missing the point entirely.

The real “why” behind idiom instruction is far more profound: to foster a robust understanding of non-literal language.

Benefits of Understanding Non-Literal Language

• Inferencing and Abstract Thinking: Understanding idioms requires moving beyond the concrete and literal. It builds critical thinking skills necessary for comprehending metaphors, sarcasm, humor, and complex social cues.
• Social Communication: So much of human interaction relies on implied meanings and figurative speech. A student who struggles with non-literal language might miss jokes, misinterpret intentions, or feel perpetually “out of the loop.”
• Reading Comprehension: Texts, even those for younger readers, are rife with figurative language. A strong grasp of non-literal concepts directly impacts reading comprehension and overall academic success.
• Language Flexibility: Understanding that words can have multiple layers of meaning makes students more agile and adaptable language users.

If our students are simply memorizing that ‘raining cats and dogs’ means heavy rain but don’t grasp the underlying concept that words can take on completely new meanings when combined, or how to figure them out, we’re not truly serving them. We’re giving them a fish for today rather than teaching them how to fish for a lifetime of language.

Why ‘Grandma’s Idioms’ Aren’t Cutting It Anymore

The challenge with focusing exclusively on teaching traditional idioms is their diminishing relevance. While culturally significant, phrases like ‘kick the bucket’ or ‘let the cat out of the bag’ are rarely encountered in the daily conversations, social media feeds, or digital interactions of today’s youth.

When we present students with idioms that feel foreign and disconnected from their world, we risk:

• Demotivation: Learning feels like an arbitrary chore rather than a relevant skill.
• Lack of Context: Without real-world exposure, the idioms lack natural context, making them harder to internalize and generalize.
• Inefficiency: Precious therapy and classroom time are spent on vocabulary that may never be actively used or encountered.

Of course, the classics still have their place. Learning to decode figurative language is a timeless skill. Consider exploring a time when language and culture were in a period of change, much like today.

My new Roaring Twenties Figurative Language Unit helps students decode the secret language of the Jazz Age with 60 slang terms and idioms. With differentiated slides for both younger and middle school students, this no-prep unit goes beyond a simple vocabulary list to connect language, history, and culture in a fun, engaging way.

Want to get a taste of this ‘cat’s pajamas’ of a unit?

As a newsletter subscriber, you can download a special PDF of 30 terms and their contextual use slides from the unit—perfect for a mini-lesson or a quick warm-up. Just fill out the form below to get instant access and join our community of language-loving SLPs and teachers!

The Solution to Understanding Figurative Language

Instead of teaching a list of static idioms, let’s empower our students, working alongside teachers and parents, to become idiom detectives! The goal is to identify, interpret, and understand the non-literal language they encounter every single day.

I propose creating a Living Idiom Dictionary—a dynamic, collaborative resource that evolves with the language our students actually use and hear. My Living Dictionary for Slang and Idioms is a free product that can help you get started.

How it Works:

• Spot It! Encourage students to listen for phrases they don’t understand, especially in casual conversations, TV shows, movies, social media, song lyrics, and video games.
• Capture It! When an unfamiliar phrase pops up, jot it down. This can be a physical notebook, a shared digital document, a whiteboard in the classroom, or a note on the fridge at home.

• Define It (Collaboratively)! This is the crucial step. Instead of just looking it up, discuss:What do the individual words mean literally?
  • What do you think it means in this context?
  • Where did you hear it? Who uses it?
  • Work together (SLP/teacher/parent with student, or even peers) to figure out the non-literal meaning. Sometimes, a quick online search might be necessary to confirm.
• Contextualize It! Write down the idiom, its non-literal meaning, and an example sentence of how it’s used. Bonus points for drawing a literal and a figurative picture! Write down the idiom, its non-literal meaning, and an example sentence of how it’s used. Bonus points for drawing a literal and a figurative picture!

Teaching How to Decode Figurative Language

You can use my free Figurative Language Decoding Visual Aid to help students with the process of untangling the meaning of figurative language. This simple, two-page guide includes a figurative language decision tree and a 3-step decoding guide, turning students into language detectives.

Revisit and Revise: Language is constantly changing. This dictionary isn’t static. Encourage students to add new entries, refine definitions, and even note when certain phrases fall out of use.

This activity directly addresses the “why” of idiom instruction. It’s not about memorizing a secret code; it’s about actively engaging with the concept of non-literal language in a relevant, meaningful, and empowering way. It teaches them how to learn these phrases, rather than just what they mean.

Ready-to-Use Resources for Teaching Idioms

If you’re ready to dive into really exploring figurative language, my new Pirate’s Chest of Idioms & Slang: A Figurative Language & Vocabulary Resource is a fun way to engage students with over 50 entries, providing real-world usage examples and fascinating historical origins to set sail on a journey of language and history. (It’s also bundled with a companion product, The Real Pirates: Nonfiction Article & Differentiated Comprehension Questions, to create a truly comprehensive unit).

Don’t let the communication gap widen! My Gen Z Idioms & Slang resource is the ultimate tool to kickstart your own Living Idiom Dictionary. With 65 terms (130 slides!), this “no cap” resource goes beyond definitions to promote critical thinking and SEL discussions. It’s the only resource of its kind that crucially attributes the rich origins of slang from sources like African American Vernacular English (AAVE), Ballroom Culture, and Hip-Hop Culture.

If you’re ready for the ultimate toolkit, consider grabbing The Complete Non-Literal & Figurative Language Bundle. It’s a growing bundle that currently includes all five of my non-literal language resources, giving you a complete solution for modern and historical figurative language. You get a 30% savings over buying them individually, so you’ll be fully equipped to start your own Living Idiom Dictionary today!

The Glow-Up for Teaching Idioms

It’s time to let go of the old and embrace the ever-evolving language of today. The true goal of teaching idioms to students isn’t about rote memorization; it’s about giving them the tools to “fish” for a lifetime of effective communication. By cultivating a “Living Idiom Dictionary,” you’re not just teaching a lesson—you’re teaching a skill for life.

Are you ready to make the shift? Here’s your toolkit to get started:

• To Introduce the Concept: Grab the My Living Dictionary for Slang and Idioms freebie.
• For Instant, Engaging Lessons: Explore the Roaring Twenties or Gen Z Idioms & Slang resources. Don’t forget my FREE Figurative Language Decoding Visual Aids!
• For the Ultimate Solution: Get all five resources and 30% savings (with more value added as it is a growing bundle!) with The Complete Non-Literal & Figurative Language Bundle.
• To monitor progress beyond a simple right/wrong, refer to my post on Mastering the Art of Measurement: A Guide to Creating Rubrics in Speech Therapy.

Don’t forget to check out my Freebies Page for more FREE resources!

By focusing on relevant, modern idioms, you can truly equip your students with skills for a lifetime of effective communication. Start your Living Idiom Dictionary today!

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The post Beyond “Spill the Beans”: Why Teaching Idioms Needs a Modern Glow-Up appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.

Navigating the complexities of stuttering can bring confusion and anxiety for both children and their families. That’s why I wrote “It’s Just the Way I Talk: Facts About Stuttering for Ages 5-8.” It is a compassionate guide designed to transform uncertainty into understanding and empower young voices.

I’m incredibly proud to share that this book has not only become a steady seller, but it’s also reached #40 in Children’s Books on Physical Disabilities on Amazon. Furthermore, it has been read cover-to-cover numerous times on Kindle Unlimited! This continued success is a testament to the critical need it fills. It provides clear, accessible resources for young children who stutter.

From an SLP’s Heart: Why I Wrote “It’s Just the Way I Talk”

As a speech-language pathologist with over 24 years of experience, I’ve seen firsthand the profound impact stuttering can have on a child’s self-esteem. I vividly recall working with a young boy, Alex, who felt isolated and ashamed, his confidence faltering. During our sessions, a profound realization struck me: Alex, and indeed many other children who stutter, didn’t truly understand what stuttering was.

More importantly, they didn’t realize they weren’t alone in their experiences. This critical gap in understanding became the seed that blossomed into “It’s Just the Way I Talk.” My dream was to create a resource that not only provides factual clarity but also helps children realize they are not alone. Ultimately, the book aims to build their confidence to communicate freely.

Why “It’s Just the Way I Talk” Matters: More Than Just Facts

“It’s Just the Way I Talk” goes beyond simply explaining stuttering. It’s a heartfelt celebration of unique communication styles and a powerful tool for fostering confidence and acceptance. Geared toward early to mid-elementary ages, it’s also proven valuable for older children and adults seeking foundational knowledge.

Here’s what makes it an essential resource:

• Child-Friendly Truths: The book demystifies stuttering (also known as stammering). It provides clear, age-appropriate facts about what it is, why it happens, and why it’s a perfectly normal brain difference – not a fault.
• Fostering Acceptance & Confidence: It gently tackles common questions and anxieties. Children learn they are not alone and that stuttering doesn’t reflect intelligence or ability. This fosters self-acceptance and empowers young readers to embrace their voice.
• Beyond “Fixing”: Focusing on Strengths & Self-Advocacy: The book encourages children to identify their strengths rather than solely focusing on “curing” stuttering. It helps them develop self-advocacy skills and explore the stuttering community, promoting a positive self-image.

• Navigating Reactions from Others: The book offers practical guidance on understanding why others might react in certain ways. It empowers children to communicate their needs, highlighting that well-meaning suggestions like “slow down” or “just relax” might not always be helpful.
• Support for the Whole Family & Beyond: It provides updated information and valuable guidance for parents, teachers, and speech-language pathologists (SLPs). This fosters a supportive communication environment. Additionally, it helps cultivate empathy and inclusivity in non-stuttering children by promoting understanding of communication differences.

Aligning with Evidence-Based Practices

As a practicing SLP for many years, I’ve consistently observed the challenges faced by children who stutter and the need for resources that align with established evidence-based practices (EBPs). “It’s Just the Way I Talk” was carefully crafted to meet these standards. It is recommended by organizations like the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA) and the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders (NIDCD):

• Psychoeducation: The book empowers children with essential, factual information about stuttering, including its normalcy and lack of control. This directly aligns with EBP recommendations, which helps reduce anxiety in children who stutter. (Ref: National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders)
• Parent Training: By understanding stuttering and its causes through the book, parents can provide a more informed and supportive environment at home. This is a key aspect of successful stuttering therapy. (Ref: Journal of Fluency Disorders)
• Communication Strategies: The book indirectly introduces communication strategies by encouraging children to communicate what helps them stutter less. This aligns with EBPs that teach children self-advocacy skills and strategies for managing their communication. (Ref: Language, Speech, and Hearing Services in Schools)

“It’s Just the Way I Talk”: What Readers Are Saying

"This book is invaluable for parents, teachers, and therapists, as it promotes empathy and confidence in kids who stutter. It's a must-read that makes a significant difference in understanding and accepting speech differences. Highly recommend ?"

"This empowering book is a wonderful tool for young children navigating the challenges of stuttering. It presents important facts and strategies in a way that is both accessible and encouraging, helping kids feel more confident about their speech. The heartwarming narrative normalizes stuttering, fostering a sense of acceptance and support. Ideal for families and educators, this resource promotes empathy and understanding in a fun and relatable manner."

Integrating “It’s Just the Way I Talk” (For SLPs & Educators)

“It’s Just the Way I Talk” can be a valuable tool in various settings. Here are some ideas for how you can integrate it into therapy sessions, classrooms, or home environments:

• Read the book together: This can spark natural discussions about stuttering. It opens the door for children to share their experiences and feelings.
• Role-playing scenarios: Use the book’s content to role-play how children can respond to well-meaning but unhelpful comments from others. This builds their self-advocacy skills.
• Creative activities: Encourage children to create artwork, write stories, or engage in other creative activities inspired by the book’s themes of acceptance and unique communication.

I’d love to hear from fellow SLPs about how you’re using “It’s Just the Way I Talk” in your therapy sessions! Feel free to share your experiences and creative activities in the comments below.

Join the Movement: Get Your Copy & Spread the Word

Ready to empower a child’s voice and foster greater understanding of stuttering?

Get Your Copy Today!

I’ve priced “It’s Just the Way I Talk” just slightly above cost to ensure it’s accessible to as many families as possible. You can find it on Amazon, or get a 10% discount in my webstore (click here to see all available locations)! Consider purchasing and donating to your local school.

Spread the Awareness!

Every child deserves to feel confident about their voice. You can help us reach more families, educators, and therapists by sharing this post with your network. Please use the hashtag #ItsJustTheWayITalk when you share!

Boost Visibility!

Searching for “It’s Just the Way I Talk” on Amazon and search engines (by both title and relevant keywords like “children’s book stuttering,” “stuttering facts,” “speech therapy resources”) and clicking on it significantly helps. This action allows the platform to recommend it to others interested in communication differences. Your simple search makes a huge difference!

Request at Your Library

Consider requesting the book at your local public and school libraries, and favorite bookstores. Every new placement helps reach more children who need this message!

Your Voice Matters: Leave a Review!

Reviews are the heartbeat of a book’s success, especially for a mission-driven title like ‘It’s Just the Way I Talk.’ Each review, particularly those with comments, significantly boosts our visibility on platforms like Amazon and Goodreads. This helps us reach more children who need to feel confident about their voice. Whether you borrowed or bought a copy, please take a moment to share your thoughts on Amazon, Goodreads, or your library app. Your feedback truly helps us spread this vital message!

Want more empowering resources for stuttering? Check out Empowering Kids Who Stutter: Practical Tips & Resources.

Looking for additional resources to help children develop self-advocacy skills? I also recommend checking out my article Sail Away from “I Don’t Know”: A Treasure Map to Classroom Communication!

Looking Ahead

I’m passionate about continuing to bridge informational gaps. Looking ahead, I’m eager to create similar resources tailored for older children who stutter. These will address their evolving needs as they mature.

Together, let’s celebrate communication in all its forms!

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The post Lifting Up Young Voices: Why “It’s Just the Way I Talk” Continues to Be an Essential Resource for Children Who Stutter appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.

Hey there, fellow parents and educators! As a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP), I get to witness the incredible journey of language development in young children every day. It’s truly amazing to see how these little minds grow and learn! In this post, I want to share some tips on nurturing language growth that can help you support this wonderful process.

Here are a few tips to nurture those curious minds and support your child’s language development:

Fuel Their Curiosity: 

Children are born explorers! Follow their interests. If they’re fascinated by bugs, head to the park with a magnifying glass. If they love trains, visit the train station and talk about the sounds and the different types of trains. This not only sparks their curiosity but also strengthens your bond, expands their vocabulary, and broadens their world knowledge.

Consider including them in your own interests (at an age-appropriate level) to show them that conversation and relationships are built on shared experiences and mutual understanding. This is a vital step in promoting communication skills

Connect Through Conversation:

• Give them your full attention: Put down your phone and truly listen to what they have to say. Make eye contact and show genuine interest. This teaches them that their thoughts and feelings are important. They will remember this when they are older, even if it is subconscious. ?
• Answer their questions honestly: It’s okay to say “I don’t know!” This teaches them that learning is a lifelong process. Then, you can hypothesize together and look it up, again teaching them how to make “smart guesses” as well as how to find out information.
• Talk about feelings: Help them understand and label their emotions. Acknowledge their feelings, even if they seem small to you. For example, “I see you’re feeling frustrated because you can’t build the tower.” One phrase I use a lot is “It’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to hit.”
• This requires you to dig deep to find the true feeling or reason behind your feeling. So often, we only recognize anger, but in reality it is fear. You aren’t angry because your child didn’t put on their shoes, you are worried that you will be late and the doctor will have to wait on you. And you aren’t angry that your child ran in front of you, but you are scared because your child could have been hurt.

Model Healthy Coping Mechanisms: 

Children learn by observing. Show them how you cope with stress and frustration. It’s okay to say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. I’m going to take a few deep breaths and come back to this later.” Model and cultivate those crucial verbal skills!

Nurture Language Development:

• Play word games: Turn everyday moments into learning opportunities. Play rhyming games in the car, make up silly stories, have an opposite day, categorize items, or play I Spy. I like to play a version of Hedbanz, where the objective is for the other person to guess with as few clues as possible, and the points go to the describer!
• Focus on sounds: Talk about the sounds in words. For example, “Listen to how the ‘s’ sound hisses in ‘snake’.” Talk about how your mouth makes sounds, like “you stick your tongue between your teeth for ‘th’, but it is behind your teeth for ‘s’.” This provides a tactile layer to phonological awareness by helping children connect the sounds they hear with the movements of their mouths. Not only that, it also helps to build a strong foundation for clear speech production, which may support their speech development and potentially reduce the need for future speech therapy.
• Explore the world of print: Point out letters and words everywhere you go – on signs, in books, on food packaging. Talk about the logos of brands your child recognizes, and why the logo fits the brand. For example, “why does McDonald’s have a giant ‘M’ as their sign?”

Make Reading Fun:

• Read together: Even 15 minutes a day can make a significant difference. Use funny voices, point to the words, and talk about the pictures. Make guesses about word meaning, infer character feelings and motivation, predict what might happen next, and connect the story to your child’s own experiences. These interactions not only make reading fun but also strengthen their comprehension, critical thinking, and expressive language skills.
• Use technology wisely: Video read-alouds and interactive reading apps can be valuable tools, especially when you’re short on time or feeling out of energy. The best read-alouds highlight the word as it is written, helping to connect the written word to the spoken word. Even when using technology, make it an interactive experience. Pause the story to ask questions, make predictions, and discuss the story together. Remember to balance screen time with traditional book reading and other hands-on activities.

Take care of health concerns:

• Pay attention to snoring. Snoring is a symptom of an obstruction in the airway that is likely impacting their sleep, which is crucial for brain development and learning. Consult a doctor or dentist if your child regularly snores or breathes through their mouth instead of their nose.
• Vision & hearing screenings – it is vital that your child can see and hear the world around them. Make sure their yearly wellness visits include these important screenings. Hearing loss, even mild hearing loss, can affect their speech, language, and even reading. The earlier it is caught, the less impact it can have. Hearing screening might need to be done more frequently if your child has frequent ear infections.
• Bite and oral posture – things like an overbite, underbite, or tongue thrust can also significantly impact speech. Make sure your child sees a dentist as soon as teeth begin to emerge.

Don’t Wait, Consult an SLP: 

If you have any concerns about your child’s speech, language, or communication, consult with a Speech-Language Pathologist. Early intervention can make a significant difference in supporting those crucial language development years. Even if therapy is not recommended, the SLP can give you tips on how to help at home.

Remember, every child is unique and learns at their own pace. Celebrate their successes, be patient with their challenges, and most importantly, have fun!

By implementing these tips, you’re actively cultivating communication skills and setting your little learners up for lifelong success.

Helpful Links for Boosting Language Learning

• Typical Speech and Language Development – American Speech-Language-Hearing Association
• Ages & Stages – healthychildren.org from the American Academy of Pediatrics
• Handy Handouts – great resource for quick tidbits and tips on speech and language

Best Wishes!

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The post Tips for Parents: Fostering Language Development in Preschoolers appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.

They can offer invaluable perspectives from parents, teachers, and even the students themselves, giving you a much richer and more comprehensive understanding of their communication skills across different environments. Let’s dive into why these tools are so powerful and how you can effectively use them!

Why Rating Scales are Your Secret Weapon

Think about it: we often see our students in a specific setting, be it a quiet therapy room or a structured testing environment. We have those crucial standard scores. But how do they communicate in the classroom? At home? With their friends?

Rating Scales bridge this gap, providing insights into real-world communication in various contexts. They’re especially golden for those communication skills (or deficits) that might not always shine through during formal testing – and you get it without overwhelming the student with lengthy testing. This is where your experience as an SLP moves beyond giving a rote test.

Questionnaires/Rating Scales can be used to:

• Guide an evaluation or demonstrate the need for an evaluation
• Generate a discussion about speech/language skills
• Develop child-centered, functional goals
• Track progress over time
• Identify areas of most need
• Provide insight on communication in different environments

Important Note: Rating Scales should NOT be used as the sole diagnostic tool for speech or language disorders. However, they can easily demonstrate the need for related services as well as change over time.

Choosing Wisely (or Creating Your Own Magic!)

Selecting the right questionnaire is key, and of course, age-appropriateness is the name of the game. While finding that perfect age-specific tool can sometimes feel like searching for a unicorn, don’t despair! Even broader questionnaires can be helpful in painting a picture of the “end goal” and where our students currently stand in relation to it.  “Questionnaire” is an umbrella term that usually signifies open-ended questions, but rating scales are super useful because the response forms are limited, and therefore easier to compare.

Speaking of unicorns, I’ve found my own ‘Student-Centered Articulation & Fluency Scales’ to be incredibly insightful for student-centered evaluations. Giving students a voice in their evaluation can be so empowering and provide a unique perspective on their own communication experiences.  A time-saving Reporting Tool is now available for both scales!

For example, with stuttering, a student’s feelings about their speech can be the crucial factor that differentiates a mild presentation from one perceived as moderate or even severe. It can also highlight students who, despite ongoing stuttering, feel they’ve gained the necessary tools from therapy versus those whose negative attitudes indicate a need for more intensive intervention. 

I even have specific versions for articulation and fluency to tap into these nuanced self-perceptions in different areas of communication. This self-awareness piece is so vital and can significantly inform your clinical decision-making.  I’ve also thrown in a short, 10 question check-in scale for both articulation and fluency, for more frequent use.

Make your own rating scale!

And don’t underestimate the power of adapting existing rating scales, or turning a questionnaire with open-ended questions into a rating scale! Take something like Orion’s Pragmatic Language Skills Questionnaire – a simple tweak of adding “as compared to peers” to the questions can make it even more relevant and help raters focus on those crucial peer comparisons.

If you’re feeling creative, designing your own informal questionnaires can be incredibly rewarding. When doing this, consider these tips:

• Look at existing questionnaires, developmental milestones, or curriculum standards to get a feel for the skills and areas typically covered.
• Keep your rating scales concise – no more than four levels is usually best.
• Frame your rating scale in terms of ‘level of concern’ (rather than ‘always/never’) to encourage direct peer comparison.
• Ensure your top ratings reflect typical peer performance, not perfection.
• Maintain consistency in your chosen scale (e.g., 0 = no concern, 4 = high concern).
• Ensure all questions are easily understood by parents and teachers.

Finally, a quick but crucial note on published questionnaires: always double-check if they are free to reproduce, or make sure you purchase the rights to use them. We want to be ethical SLPs!

Handling the “Not Applicable” Headscratcher

We’ve all been there – a question on a questionnaire that just doesn’t fit the context. If you allow for a “Not Applicable” response (which I highly recommend!), here’s my simple approach: if a respondent marks a question as not applicable, I simply adjust the total number of rated items. For example, if there are ten questions and one is marked “N/A,” I calculate the overall score based on the remaining nine. Easy peasy!

Keeping It Peer-Focused

Finally, when you’re asking respondents to rate a child’s skills, it’s so important to emphasize the “compared to peers” perspective. Make sure your instructions clearly state that they should be thinking about how the child’s communication skills stack up against those of their same-age peers. This helps to provide a more meaningful and relevant comparison.

In Part Two, we dive into how to effectively present and interpret the valuable data you gather from questionnaires in your reports!

Freely Available Questionnaires and Rating Scales

1. Orion’s Pragmatic Language Skills Questionnaire (PDF): This is a widely shared questionnaire for screening pragmatic language abilities. I’ve made it into a fillable form for free on my TeachersPayTeachers store.
2. Early Childhood Speech and Language Assessment – Speech and Language Assessment Scale (PhenX Toolkit): Find it at https://www.phenxtoolkit.org/protocols/view/200302. The PhenX Toolkit offers various measurement protocols, including this one for early language.
3. Intelligibility in Context Scale (ICS) (PDF): Accessible via https://cdn.csu.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0010/399970/ICS-English.pdf. This parent-report scale helps understand a child’s speech clarity in different situations.
4. Speech Assessment and Analysis in Conversation (SPAAC): Located at https://www.csu.edu.au/research/multilingual-speech/speech-assessments/spaa-c. This tool focuses on analyzing speech within conversational contexts.
5. NESC Resources – SLP Tools: Visit https://nesc.k12.sd.us/resources.html#slp for a broader list. Be sure to check out the sections dedicated to Autism and Social Skills for more relevant questionnaires.

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The post Unlock the Power of Rating Scales in Your SLP Evaluations: Part 1 – Value and Use appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.

Ever wonder why we can teach a child “happy” and “sad,” yet they still struggle with deeper emotional understanding? It might seem simple at first; after all, they’re just feelings, right? But truly understanding and managing emotions involves learning the real language of emotions – a complex inner dialogue we must learn to speak fluently, both within ourselves and with others.

This “emotional language” goes far beyond simply recognizing happy, sad, and angry faces on a chart. It delves into the intricate world of our internal experiences, the thoughts that fuel our feelings, and how we communicate those feelings through more than just our expressions. 

At its core, Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) encompasses skills like understanding our own emotions (self-awareness), managing those emotions effectively (self-management), recognizing the emotions of others (social awareness), building positive relationships, and making responsible decisions. It’s about understanding the subtle cues of body language and tone of voice, and ultimately, about developing a rich vocabulary to navigate our emotional landscape.

So, how do we help children learn this vital language of emotions? It starts by looking beyond the surface and exploring the deeper layers of what it truly means to feel these emotions.

The Internal Landscape: More Than Just a Feeling Word

Think about the last time you felt truly nervous. Did you have to stop and think, “I am nervous”? Probably not. You might have felt butterflies in your stomach, sweaty palms, or a racing heart, and you had already learned the somatic expression (bodily sensations) of the emotion of nervousness. For children to truly grasp their emotions, they need to connect these somatic experiences with the feeling words.

Try this: When your child says they feel [emotion], gently ask, “Where do you feel that in your body?” or “What does that feel like inside?” Encourage them to describe the physical sensations.

The Thought Detective: Uncovering the “Why”

Often, the surface-level situation isn’t the real trigger for an emotion. As we discussed, a child angry about not being invited to play might actually be feeling rejected, fueled by the thought, “They don’t like me.” Helping children become “thought detectives” and develop the language to uncover true feelings is crucial.

• Ask: “What were you thinking when that happened?” or “What story are you telling yourself about why that happened?”
• Challenge unhelpful thoughts: Help them explore if those thoughts are entirely true. Could there be other explanations? (“Maybe they’re playing a game with a limited number of players right now.”)
• Practice reframing: Guide them to replace negative thoughts with more balanced ones. (“I can ask if I can join next time.”)

The Power of Self-Talk: Where Emotional Language Gets Real

Once children can identify their feelings and the thoughts behind them, we can introduce the powerful tool of self-talk. This is the internal dialogue we have with ourselves that can either escalate or soothe our emotions.

• Model positive self-talk: Let your child hear you talking to yourself calmly through a frustrating situation (“This is tricky, but I can take it one step at a time”).
• Brainstorm helpful phrases together: For feeling frustrated: “It’s okay to feel stuck. I can try a different way.” For feeling nervous: “I feel a little worried, but I’ve practiced, and I’ll do my best.”
• Practice using self-talk in low-stakes situations: This helps them build the habit for when big emotions hit.

Beyond the Face: Tuning into the Whole Message

Emotions aren’t just expressed through the face.  Other powerful communicators of feeling include body language (slumped shoulders, crossed arms, open posture) and tone of voice (soft, sharp, shaky).

• Observe and discuss: “I noticed your voice sounded a little sad and your mouth was turned down when you said that. Are you feeling okay?” or “Look at how their body is all hunched over and they aren’t playing. I wonder if they might be feeling lonely.”
• Consider context: Emphasize that the same body language or tone can mean different things in different situations.

Learning Emotional Language in Real Life: The Power of “In-the-Moment” Coaching

Abstract scenarios in workbooks have their place, but the most impactful learning happens within the context of a child’s own life. Trusted adults can act as emotional guides, narrating feelings and thoughts as they occur.

• Make it personal: “I saw your face get red and your body got tight when your friend took your toy. It looked like you were feeling angry.”
• Model your own emotions healthily: Instead of “Be quiet so I can talk,” try, “I need you to be quiet so others can hear. Thanks for understanding.” Instead of “I’m angry you broke the rules,” try, “I’m feeling upset because I’m worried about your safety when the rules aren’t followed.”

It Starts With Us: The Adult’s Role in Emotional Learning

Here’s a crucial truth: effectively teaching SEL to children begins with our own emotional awareness and regulation. We might even need to re-learn some of our own ingrained beliefs about emotions. Were we taught to suppress certain feelings? Did we receive messages that some emotions are “bad”?

Drawing inspiration from frameworks like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can be incredibly helpful. DBT emphasizes understanding the somatic experience, expression, body language, and thoughts associated with emotions, as well as offering practical strategies for managing intense feelings and reframing negative thought patterns.

Adults who haven’t explored their own emotional landscape may find it challenging to guide children effectively. It requires us to open our own hearts and heads and be vulnerable with children, creating a safe space for them to explore their feelings without judgment, as well as modeling those things we are trying to teach them

Moving Forward in Teaching the Real Language of Emotions:

Teaching emotional literacy is a journey, not a destination, and this journey of emotional learning for our children is deeply intertwined with our own emotional landscape. By moving beyond simple facial recognition and focusing on the internal experience, thoughts, communication, and the power of our own modeling, we can equip children with the skills they need to navigate their emotional world with confidence and resilience.

This is just the beginning of exploring the fascinating true language of feelings. What other aspects of SEL would you like us to delve into in future posts? Let me know your thoughts!

Want more SEL content? Try these articles!

• Tips for Parents: Fostering Language Development in Preschoolers
• Empowering Kids Who Stutter: Practical Tips & Resources
• Speech Therapy Wins! Building Progress Power in Kids

Here’s to a more emotionally connected world!

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The post Beyond Happy and Sad: The Real Language of Emotions appeared first on Mrs. Speech Online.