The Myth of Having All the Answers

And if I didn’t have all the answers, well, by no means let the kids know, right?!!  Because then they’d take advantage.  They would run amok!  Gone would be any control I’d have over therapy sessions.

It’s been 24 years, ya’ll.  I don’t have all the answers.  Sorry to disappoint.  LOL.  Seems I’ve got fewer answers each year!  And you know what else?  Not only am I not a failure, not only do the kids not run amok. It seems to increase our rapport when I admit I don’t know something or show them a flaw.

Lessons in Vulnerability: My Stutter and More

For example, I have more stutterers this year than I’ve ever had before.  I also have recently suffered Post Concussive Disorder, which seems to have increased my “normal” stuttering.  So I have gotten into the habit of pointing out my repeated sounds and words to my students. 

I just shrug and say, “Look, there I stuttered again.” As if it was a hiccup.  Because, really, that pretty much describes what it feels like for me.  Take a moment and imagine how that would affect a middle school stutterer. Perhaps you could show them this TedxTalk video, about “The Power of a Stutter.”

Or maybe I have a question that they don’t answer correctly.  Sometimes I realize I didn’t ask it well – and I tell them that.  Sure, I’m an adult, and I may know more than they do, but I’m not infallible. They need to see me admit that with grace and humor. Have you ever tried to work with someone who can’t admit they were wrong?  Or tried to have a relationship with one?  I’m showing these kids they can admit they made an error with no judgement.

Beyond Perfection: Growth, Resilience, and Acceptance

This goes far beyond the concept of ableism.  This is the idea of teaching children that it is ok not to be perfect.  Some may call it Growth Mindset, some may call it resilience. There are many names for it.   It’s been recycled through the years.  Why?  Because we have tried to reach perfection from the dawn of history.

For years, I chased the elusive notion of perfection as an SLP, only to realize it hindered my connection with my students. I was so preoccupied with trying to be flawless that I forgot to truly engage during out sessions.  If I wasn’t engaged, then my students sure weren’t!  And what life lessons were they learning?  That they weren’t good enough the way they were?  That mistakes were bad?

Teaching Embracing Imperfection By Modeling

Each time I make a mistake, and show my students how to accept it with grace, I am teaching them that they don’t have to be perfect.  Giving them resilience so that their inevitable mistakes don’t push them down. They can work to be better. Yet, they are wonderful the way they are.  You know why AI generated people always look weird – it’s because they are too perfect!  We need our little idiosyncrasies!

So, forget about achieving 100 speech goals. What truly matters is nurturing a culture of acceptance and growth—one mistake at a time. After all, isn’t that the greatest lesson of all?

Love yourselves, my e-speechies!  ‘Till next time,

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